Happy Belated Mother's Day to my dear sweet friends who are celebrating this day. And Happy Belated Mother's Day to my dear cherished friends who spent the day in heart ache and dread, because their little one's aren't here on earth, but waiting for them in Heaven. As a mom who has my heart torn between my children here, and my children in heaven, its days like yesterday that make me feel like I have my feet on earth, grounded solid and my hands reaching for the clouds to find those pieces of my heart that are missing today, they are missing every day, but on Mother's Day, that loss is felt.... a lot.
My Mother In Law, who really is a wise, Godly woman, once told me that she prayed every day for her children's salvation, and that if they weren't going to accept Christ, that he would take them young, before they made that decision not to follow him. After I got over that first initial shock of horror "Why would anyone want to pray that God would take her sweet babies????" I started to really think about what she said, and what LOVE and TRUST that prayer meant. And then I started thinking again, at how much that meant in my own life. How loosing my twins in 1992 and loosing our beloved CJ in 2006 meant that God knew more than I did, and while my pain here loosing them was awful, and how my arms ached in wanting to hold them and see them become the people God intended them to be..... I was hit with the realization that God is God and I am not, perhaps without praying the actual prayer my MIL prayed, I was being spared the heartache of raising a child who was not to come to know Christ. So with another Mother's Day past, I dedicate those children, the children i'm not permitted to raise on this earth to my God who knows best, and who for reason's I can only TRUST are the best for them, has them blooming in Heaven. Mommy loves you, all three of you, and am looking forward to the day when we alas meet, and I get to hug you and smell your sweet skin, and rejoice in the fact that i'm not a mommy of 5 like I claim here on earth, but a mommy of 8, yes EIGHT beautiful little creatures that God has sent my way!
In HIM,
Mommy to the twins '92, Ashley '93, Brielle '05, CJ '06, Cailynn '06, Delainey '08, Eden '09!
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